and so it is.. just like you said it would be

Tue, 05 Feb 2008 20:21:35 GMT

it's a new day.. i need to turn my life around.

Fri, 24 Aug 2007 19:01:05 GMT

"it's a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. you know what, you can actually see old lobster couples walkin' around their tank, ya know, holding claws.."- friends. season 2;14.

:]

i got my lobda

Thu, 16 Aug 2007 16:59:12 GMT

..annnnnd im as happy as can be!

Thu, 10 May 2007 14:01:07 GMT

one more thing to do here tomorrow, then i'll be home for the summer :) being done is such a great feeling..

Fri, 13 Apr 2007 18:28:41 GMT

im as good as im ever gonna be.. take it or leave it.

st. pattys day in boston!

Sun, 18 Mar 2007 19:26:41 GMT

so good.

Thu, 15 Mar 2007 03:52:38 GMT

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfilLgPB5Sk

vacation!

Mon, 05 Mar 2007 15:55:09 GMT

so pat is stinky. im at the boat with him and he smells like poop. im happy. really happy.

Fri, 16 Feb 2007 00:10:16 GMT

i need to get out of here.

Sun, 04 Feb 2007 06:57:36 GMT

friendships are not supposed to be work.

HAHAHAHAH

Wed, 24 Jan 2007 06:14:09 GMT

maybe i just need a beer.

Tue, 09 Jan 2007 07:18:12 GMT

2007 has been good so far.

Thu, 07 Dec 2006 01:25:43 GMT

I only have 7 more days of classes until Christmas Break; I can't believe it. I can't wait to find out how I did in all of my courses.. The semester flew by! I'm hoping I am half as lucky next semester. I'm feeling hopeful.. I'm ready for a break.

I want a Christmas tree.

Sat, 02 Dec 2006 19:36:31 GMT

Life is ridiculous.

Mon, 27 Nov 2006 05:23:45 GMT

I want to go somewhere warm.
I want to go on a ferris wheel & drink champagne.

These next two weeks need to pass quickly.

To my friends

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 15:18:01 GMT

If I say I love you & want to be there for you- I promise I do.

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 05:43:51 GMT

Life; It's good & it's bad all at the same time.

Life is a roller-coaster. I am feeling a bigger variety of emotions right now than I ever have in my life. I have never been able to say (and mean) that my life really is so awesome & so horrendous all at the same time. I am finally where I have been telling myself I need to be- I am in Boston @ school doing exactly what I want to do. I have been working hard & doing well. I have met people & on the surface it seems I shouldn't be asking for much more- but somehow I am. It's not one of those "me not being satisfied" moments, but more of a "I know there is more.." moments.

When looking at my life as a whole, I feel I should feel much more confident & at ease with everything- but for some reason that just isn’t the case. For a long time I thought that I shouldn't be feeling like this, & have pushed it aside, but the more I push, the more clear it becomes. Something is missing. I am not talking about something I will be able to find in someone else.. it's something in me, something I need to find & figure out on my own.

For a long time now I have looked to other people for happiness. I have been looking for recognition & validation- but no matter what, it's never been enough. This whole time I was under the impression that it was everyone else. No one could make me feel loved, no one could make me feel valued, no one could make me feel appreciated. I am just now realizing that part of the reason I have been feeling this way is because I haven’t been loving, valuing or appreciating myself. People have said to me that in order to truly be happy with anyone else, I need to accept things and be happy with myself. & although I have been hearing it for quite some time, I am just now beginning to believe it.

Sometimes I don't give myself enough credit, & I look to others when making decisions in my life. So far, one semester into college, I think I have proven to myself that I am a capable person, able to think and make decisions that will do nothing but benefit myself.

It’s an uphill battle, but I am more ready than ever to make a change. In order to be where I need to be in my life I need to make some changes and work for it. Things won’t always fall into place, and sitting here hoping they will, WILL NOT do a thing. In order for things to change, I must change myself & my approach first.

let things go and move forward.

Fri, 24 Nov 2006 04:10:54 GMT

so this is it, hopefully the last journal.. things are changing, and i feel the only way to start over is to let the past go..